The Safety Crutch – Chris’s Story
I have been using drugs and alcohol since I was about 17 years old. I started taking drugs with my mates but when I was about 20 everything quickly spiralled out of control, and I started using heroin.
I am 55 years old now and I have been in recovery for 3 years, this is the longest I have ever been in recovery. I have been a victim of stigma too many times to remember but one time that haunts me is the fourth time I was in recovery from my drug issues.
I had just come out of prison and was very fragile, I had no confidence, and I was terrified of life without my drugs crutch. I moved into a hostel as I was homeless then into temporary accommodation. I had a key worker who had arranged for a physio to visit me as my balance was not good due to an injury I had from before I went to prison. I was drinking alcohol quite heavily at this point but not taking street drugs.
The physio arrived and I could tell instantly she didn’t like me even though she didn’t know me. She had several walking sticks and frames with her, after several sighs and looking me up and down she said, “Well I will try you with this frame, but I don’t really see the point as you are an alcoholic and until you change your ways you will have poor mobility.” I replied, “I am trying, and I am not an alcoholic, I actually have a brain injury that affects my balance.” She just glared and said, “try harder.” I was so depressed when she left, I felt weak, sad, worthless. In fact, I felt suicidal looking back now.
My recovery ended that day. I couldn’t cope any longer, so I went back to my safety crutch… drugs.
